"You must learn to be comfortable with psychological disturbance. If your mind becomes hyperactive, just watch it. If your heart starts to heat up, let it go through what is must. Try to find the part of you that is capable of noticing that your mind is hyperactive and that your heart is heating up. That part is your way out". -Michael Singer
To find the elusive inner peace you seek, I invite you to engage more deeply with your negative reactions: jealousy, anger, scorn, panic, resentment, bitterness, indignation, wistfulness, resignation, self-pity, pride, condescension. These heavy, dense emotions arise in all of us.
The moment you begin to see them as the gifts they are is the moment you begin to unlock and unblock channels to your own happiness and well-being. They are the wayfinder's signposts, helping you uncover the hidden path that leads directly to exaltation, to inner bliss.
When you feel jealous about someone else's circumstance, for example, your False Self is leading you to the heart of the block to your own bliss. A limiting belief precludes you from having, doing or being in the way you see another enjoying. Left to its own devices, the False Self will indulge in envy and subsequent self-pity. The vibrational resonance created during unconscious moments like these goes on to create more opportunities to feel envious. This is why the basis of so many mystical traditions lies in learning how to observe oneself, how to become conscious.
Be curious about your negative emotions. Like a trail of breadcrumbs, they will lead you to their source. Then the conscious, True Self can take on the illusion that created them, illusions such as "I can't do that", "I have to do this", "I'll never be able to"… Limiting thoughts, often inherited, become beliefs, which become axioms by which entire families and communities live out their lives.
While the practice of mindfulness is straightforward, it is not easy. It takes commitment and discipline. It requires non-judgment of self and others. And, as you move to step beyond these axioms that govern the lives of so many, it requires courage.
The only way out of a world in chaos is in.
May you gain ever greater awareness of what has been holding you back. May you discover a new path, hidden in the brambles of the constructed Self. May you reach new conclusions about who you are and what you're capable of and may you begin to create your experience of life anew.